2009 November | Mo Ghaoui, Personal Blog

Breathless Irony!

admin

Nov 20 |05:54

I woke up this morning with a pain in my head
Looked onto the mirror, and i can see am not yet dead
A scary reflections tells me am not too well
Was i drunk or sick, i neither could tell
I bounced off, and started to yell
And here is few thoughts that broke out my skull

I’m not too fit, I’f you have to know
I’m overweight and am rather slow
But when I run, I manage; though
Though in the past it was not thus,
That am one to swear and cuss,
Except that, when trying to catch a bus,
I’m breathless!

At sport I’d always stay the course
I was as strong as any horse
But now, with just a little force,
When as a youth, I used to play
With sweet young ladies in the hay
The girls would be the ones to say:
“I’m breathless”!

I guess my life has reached the stage
When these things happen at my age.
If all my passions I assuage,
I have my annual body checks
And find out if I need new specs.
But sadly, when I’m having sex,
I’m breathless!

Now let me enlighten you about life situation
A guy sticks his location,
In a girl’s destinstion,
To increase the population,
For the next generation.
Do you get my explanation?
Or do you need a demonstration?

Oh were was i, enough about my drifting imagination
Let me recall what happened to spook my sensation
I left home, with hopes and high expectation

Cupid’s aim was off that tonight
It seems he missed my heart
That pointy stick had soared in plight
The archer hit the wrong body part.
Soon all my rules were set aside
For a moment of passion in haste
And casual sex I could now abide
But he was broken below the waist!

Was cupid on crack when he aimed his dart?
Did he think that I wouldn’t mind?
He had served me with quite an intriguing start
But his impotency soon I did find!
I tried in vain to boost his his pride?
You see, I was hot and surely bothered
‘Twas downhill when his pants began to slide
Could it be me? I certainly pondered!

When all else failed I offered him a ride
And he left due to lack of endurance
So next year dear Cupid, I pray thee to find
Me a match of much better performance!

I’ll be thirty next birthday, a man who should be diving into life,
I missed the hazy hippy years, I think all i ever was -a woman’s wife-.
Takes me back, when i got married, sometimes what people wishes
Not me, just wanted a romantic night, bottle of wine, and someone to do the dishes
Wisdom and experience, no games and no bullshit
Is what the years have taught to me and now I’m full of it.

Insulting “Her Grace”

admin

Nov 20 |05:53

WHO: Some remarkable (and extremely astonishing) friend of mine.
WHAT: Another reason to “speak of she” before the sun shine.
HOW: How does anything like this happen; youthful exuberance? … fine !
WHEN: Some time back…. just before i lost my rhyme
WHERE: It all started , while we sat there to dine …
WHY: I wasnt saying…but since i did bet on it i had to write it down !

The question remains still, who and why we are here and what to do
But if you listen to my story, and i promise -some parts- are to be true
Like at first, like only few do, lovable loved ravishing, i tried not to notice
As didnt want her then so ordered i, more gin with long glasses with ice

She is the kind of girls that tells me “Me and Mil Gibson are through !!”"
And am like, all i could say, a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do !!
You have to be nice to her, and thank her for allowing you to be so
And after you’re slapped -like a lot- try and hit back and she’d shout: NO!
Her favourtite two subjects are her hair and her
But her, she is georgous, or so she thinks, so lets be fair
At her finest times, she might use her heaven’s sent free will
And if you are lucky, when you dine , she would pay-her own- bill
It doesnt matter if she is single, and you got nothing to loose
She’d “kick yer arse” and while at it, might call up tom cruise
Whatever you’d think of her preferences is your opinion and not necessarily mine
Just try not to be too judgmental , and am sure we will get along just fine
No am not scared of her !!! as i just dont pay your bills and you dont pay mine
She’d take your breathe away and she’d sigh”oh, so funny”
And still take your porsche cayenne, home and your money
Even scared from new relationships though yearns for a new romance
Still some and many scrub up quite presentably, if given half a chance
Lets back to tell, she’d never forget an important date
You just dont have to mind it, when she is a little late
Her friends cannot tell their friends, i can just get her
Nah, in their dreams, she’d just say i might do better
And she doesn’t have a problem expressing her feeling
Except when she is lieing, she keeps staring up the ceiling
Now scientists want DNA, facts, and probably might ask for a sample
But “luckily?” all I have is a false theory with an accurate example
As, for writing this lyric, she keeps me up a little before AM 3:00
Thought easier to call her, as i do, call her, my triple three
But again, you cant just keep pushing your luck twice and thrice
And again i order, more gin with long glasses of ice

Wisdom

admin

Nov 20 |05:51

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Sex is only considered pain in the ass, if you are doing it wrong.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. At our desks, we have a work station..
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Most of us do not want careers, we only want paychecks.
Computers can beat you in chess, but never in kickboxing.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose
It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
PS :
My opinions may have or would be at any point changed, but not the fact that I am right …

I want to ask … cause i keep wondering …

admin

Nov 20 |05:50

Some of those are written, copied, or created … if you have more submit

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
Are children who act in rated ‘R’ movies allowed to see them?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren’t the ‘good things that come to those who wait’ just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
Are marbles made of marble?
Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?
Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken over there … I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don’t they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

If something “goes without saying,” why do people still say it?
You know the expression, “Don’t quit your day job?” Well what do you say to people that work nights?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?

How come you pay an extra 25 cents to get something put on your hamburger but they don’t take off the price if you get something taken off?
Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

Can a blind man see his future?
If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st – January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?

Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why is the word “abbreviate” so long?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?
Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway
If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and your the main witness, what if you say “no”?

Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.

Why are all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if they’re English?
What do Greeks say when they don’t understand something?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?

I Didn’t Know That!!!

admin

Nov 17 |06:08

YOU MUST READ THIS AND ENJOY

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that’s more like it !)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig..)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy..)

(I’m still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don’t try this at home, maybe at work)

The male preying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
(Honey, I’m home. What the…?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes!! Lucky pig! Can you imagine?!!)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm……)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out . )

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.
In other words, send it to everyone!
(and… Gotta love that pig!)

Posted via email from Mo’s posterous

Archive for November, 2009

Breathless Irony!

Insulting “Her Grace”

Wisdom

I want to ask … cause i keep wondering …

I Didn’t Know That!!!

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