SCOTTSDALE, Arizona – Word out of the World of NASCAR is that Danica Patrick’s marriage is starting to sputter.
According to Tango Brisket with Sports Territory Magazine, Patrick’s number 10 race car has hit some oil slicks on the marital race track and has slammed into the wall.
Patrick, 30, is married to Dr. Paul Hospenthal, 47, a physician who first met her when he treated her for several injuries including, a bruised upper thigh, a lower back abrasion, a lower stomach contusion, a kablooeyed left pinkie, and a bruised ego.
Brisket was told by noted NASCAR race announcer Waydell “The Pipes” Airdoodle, 61, that on several occasions he has seen Danica sitting in her car with fellow race driver Ricky “Slicky” Stenhouse, Jr., 25, and they appeared to be engaged in a bit of kissy-kissy, as they refer to making out in Missouri.
Airdoodle remarked that he figures that Miss Patrick, who got married in 2005, has fallen victim to the dreaded seven year itch and is starting to feel old, overweight, and a bit unattractive.
When she was asked to make a comment about her involvement with Stenhouse she started coughing like a five pack a day smoker and turned as red as a Tallahassee tomato.
She composed herself and simply said that she is fond of Ricky because they both enjoy Simon and Garfunkel songs, the color maroon, and watching reruns of the Beverly Hillbillies.
When Ricky was asked to comment he grinned like the Chattanooga cat that swallowed the Chicago canary and stated that he likes Danica because she is a very good looking, sexy, rich cougar.
He said that ever since he was six-years-old he always dreamed about one day having a May-December relationship with an older woman.
SIDENOTE: Brisket divulged that he was told by a highly reputable inside source that Pipe Dream Films is planning on casting Lindsay Lohan in a motion picture based on Danica’s life called, Going In Circles – The Danica Patrick Story.