MANHATTAN - Madonna, who is 54, recently confided to her cellulite specialist Dr. Ikaloosa Luluette Lickachevski that she is afraid that her 25-year-old boy-toy, Brahim Zaibat is thinking about breaking up with her.
The New York singer told Dr. Lickachevski that the two have been involved in their May-December relationship for two years now.
She was asked what makes her think that her extremely younger boyfriend is planning on dumping her butt.
Madonna rolled her eyes and replied that it’s the fact that she feels that her butt isn’t anywhere near as pretty, shapely, or as cellulite-free as it was back in 1984, when she recorded her song “Like A Virgin.”
The woman now known as The Material Grandmother was 26, when she recorded her very first number one hit.
She took a bite out of her Tuna Fish and Peanut Butter Bagel and said that back then she didn’t have all the stress she has now, nor the bitterness, nor the anger, nor the stretch marks.
Madonna also pointed out that on several occasions she has caught Brahim watching his favorite TV show, The Real Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania, and making all kinds of lustfully lascivious and licentiously lewd sounds.
SIDENOTE: Dr. Lickachevski, who also treats Joan “The Moan” Rivers for her industrial cellulite, suggested that the only thing he would recommend is to shower young Mr. Zaibat with lots and lots of money and material things.