Cambridge, Massachusetts – “Sure wish it was the world’s first human-Sasquatch cross,” Prof Joseph Mengele-Flintstone said today, “unfortunately that hybrid’s already gestating inside Pippa’s sister Kate according to reports.”
The famous US Poison Ivy League eugenicist is the brains behind the $ 1 million signing of Pippa ‘The Arse’ Middleton in a bid to create the world’s second-ever human-Yeti crossbreed.
This morning’s announcement follows decades of research at Harvard Medical Cloning School where Faculty of Eugenics experiments have strived to improve the genetic composition of the human population.
“I can see a big, big improvement in the Middleton hereditary bloodlines if I pull this one off,” Mengele-Flintstone added while browsing underwear shots of Kate’s sibling on the internet.
“We might even rid future generations of Middleton women of that pesky handlebar mustache recessive gene they carry.
“However, the downside of the matter is there’s no way of telling if the new DNA mix will improve Bigfoot’s IQ.”
Eugenics is the applied science of the bio-social movement which promotes stirring up the human gene pool of Nazi descendants.
A number of successful Neanderthal-Human reproductive experiments at the Cambridge, Massachusetts cloning facility have already produced some of the world’s best known celebrity Z-listers ‘including Lady Gaga and the Bush Twins’.
News of Pippa’s million dollar signing follows the Brit airhead’s plea to be seen more than just a liposuctioned butt that followed gold digger Kate up the aisle in April 2011.
Nominations for the hybrid baby’s official godparents close at midnight on April 1st.