Washington AC/DC – “Either our Commander-in-Chief has gone completely doolally,” former US Senator from Nebraska Chuck Hagel said today, “or I’m misinterpretatin’ the subtlety of his response!”
The comments come amid reports that Hagel is in shock following a ‘coded put-down’ in the form of a presidential ringtone message consisting of The Tams’ famous 1964 hit single.
‘Hagel, don’t bother me, Hagel don’t bother me! Go away, come back again another, day don’t bother me’ is the opening refrain of the song that got to number 41 on the Billboard Hot 100 and number 10 on the R&B chart.
According to the chauffeur who regularly drives Hagel in his capacity as chair of President’s Intelligence Advisory Board the Pentagon wannabe finally received the long-awaited reply from Obama’s personal cell phone in response to a week of frenzied email and text exchanges with vetting officials.
Harvey ‘Rufus Ruffcut’ Buzzwagon was at the wheel of Hagel’s armored Lincoln Continental late last night when his boss got the call that’s brought an abrupt hiatus to the Capitol Hill rumor mill.
“Nearly ran a red light when I heard them lyrics, heh heh,” Buzzwagon told QM-NewsCorpse stringers, “now I can’t get them damn words outta my head!”
‘Heard about you from my friends/Word really gets around/They say you broke the heart/Of every spook in town/They say you were out to cheat/They say you were just a little flirt/And that if I fall for you/I surely gonna get hurt’
“Still the last verse is kinda comfortin':”
‘I’ve really gotta say/You look so fine/And you’re so hard to resist/But I know I’ve got to stay away/For I might fall for you/And I don’t want to be added to your list/So now I say…’
Leon Panetta is still 69.