Some of Eunice Daisy Woodbrewster’s award-winning tomatoes.
WASILLA, Alaska - Local authorities in Sarah Palin’s hometown of Wasilla are reporting that they have made one of the biggest arrests in the history of the Alaskan town.
Wasilla Sheriff Abner Bellbubble stated that at 4 a.m. on Friday morning local resident and long time old maid, Eunice Daisy Woodbrewster, 89, called in a disturbance.
Miss Woodbrewster said that her pet schnauzer Dimples was barking his head off. She stated that at first she just figured it was a cat, but then she remembered that there are no cats in her neighborhood.
She grabbed a flashlight and shined it out toward her tool shed. It was then that she saw what looked like a man who she said was dressed like one of the Lawrence of Arabia fellas.
Eunice Daisy said that she let out a Tarzan type yell and the intruder got startled and started to run. She said right away he tripped over some of her tomato plant holders. As he fell to the ground he knocked down a scarecrow that she had placed in the middle of the garden.
The blow from the scarecrow caused the trespasser to pass out. Eunice Daisy then quickly called 911 and a police car showed up within 55 seconds.
SIDENOTE: After taking fingerprints, a DNA swab, and a urine specimen it was determined that the intruder was none other than high-ranking Taliban General Harkanzari Kabadabad who was on a high level secret mission to find and kidnap Sarah Palin.