image for Divorced Vlad The Impaler Putin 'has a rhythmic gymnast gentleman friend'
Out on the razz last night

Bloodyvostock – “Think the Incredible Hulk in Alina Kabaeva’s body,” is how one Kremlin insider put it this morning, “a male rhythmic gymnast so supple and contortable it’s a wonder all that spangly lycra never bursts during, er, workouts.”

The anonymous young athlete has been seen being wined and dined by President Putin at the Russian Politburo’s favorite vegan restaurant, Bloodyvostock’s Dim Eatery Medvedev.

“Of course, now he’s single again our President can spend quality time enjoying some healthy male company,” the deep throat added surreptitiously, “without the normal matrimonial worry of whether it’s time to return home.

“Who would begrudge him such harmless little treats, comrade?”

It’s something the Kremlin PR machine is at pains to downplay amid sporadic reports of friction in the breakup of the Russian President’s 30 years of marriage to strawberry blond firecracker Lyudmila Aleksandrovna ‘The One Arm Bandit’ Putina.

Luddy, as Vlad liked to call her, had ballooned to 30 stone since the couple’s July 1983 nuptials and was eclipsing her shortarse ex-KGB spouse at official functions.

Then there’s some historical stuff about a G8 Summit at Camp David when she accidentally sat down on Bill Clinton’s face after mistaking it for a novelty whoopee cushion embroidered by US Ambassador to Paris Pamela Harriman.

But it was her secret seven year tryst with Brit moron the Marquis of Lower Slaughter that really stuck in Kremlin aparatchicks’ craw after the couple were caught in flagrente delicto at a Grovel Lodge Hospitality [sic] Inn somewhere off Junction 9 of the M4.

Of course that’s all behind her now – if you don’t count the weight of the abdominal cellulite that Luddy’s piled on since the Millenium.

Next week she’ll be representing Russian at an International Weight Botchers’ annual gala where contestants shed pounds with some liposuction help.

Roman Abramovich is 104.

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  544. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

  545. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  546. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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