Edward Snowden shown wearing a hoodie in the parking lot of a Burgerovich Restaurant in Moscow.
RALEIGH, North Carolina - A high ranking North Carolina state official has just informed the news media that the state is nixing a plan that would have named a brand new hospital in Raleigh after NSA whistleblower Edward Joseph Snowden.
The official who requested anonymity spoke with American Spotlight Magazine and informed them that the Gynecological Hospital will instead be named after noted North Carolina native Brodie “Bubba” Geezergitty, who is credited with having invented tobacco leaves that smell like Chanel #5 Perfume.
The state of North Carolina felt that naming the women’s hospital after an NSA and CIA technical consultant who leaked top secret U.S. and U.K. government mass surveillance programs as well as NFL game plays would not make North Carolina look good in the eyes of the other 49 states.
Fitzwater Ribicoff with ASM stated that Snowden’s home town of Wilmington has already changed the name of Snowden Street to Traitor Trail Drive.
Suggested Reading on The Subject. The book by Fletcher and Muffy Chirpenwurst titled Dammit Boy! The Astoundingly Astonishing Story of Edward Snowden.