Obama Diagnosed with Severe Irony Deficiency
According to confidential sources in the White House, the President is suspected to be suffering from a rare new disease that afflicts those who have risen to high places and affects the victim’s ability to see his own behavior and actions as others do.
Aides first noticed that something was amiss when the liberal press began to hint that Obama’s policies increasingly resembled those of George Bush — with the aggressive use of Federal power to spy on Americans in the name of anti-terrorism, the continued use of Guantanamo Bay to hold terrorists, and the plan to attack a middle eastern country in order to suppress weapons of mass destruction. When challenged by supporters who saw the fundamental transformation of America heading in the wrong direction, the President replied with scorn and derision that his polices “in no way resemble those of Bush. My policies are completely different.” But aides and supporters became alarmed when further symptoms of the irony deficiency disease emerged. According to one rumor circulating on Twitter, Obama was seen practicing his laugh before a mirror, moving his shoulders spasmodically while muttering to himself, “fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice ” According to physicians, the iconic symptom of the disease is the inability to correctly repeat the Fool Me Once, Fool me Twice aphorism.
In the meantime, in an effort to shake the President from this malady, copies of Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis — a novel about a bureaucrat who wakes up one morning and finds that he has been fundamentally transformed into a large bug — have been arriving anonymously and piling up in the oval office. “I’ve read the Metamorphosis,” a baffled Obama reportedly confided to his aides, “and I don’t understand why my friends are now all sending me copies of it.”
Fortunately or unfortunately for the President, the disease appears to be contagious under the stress of the imminent 2014 election cycle, and even the aides and supporters of the President who first noticed the transformation of the Obama presidency into Bush’s third and fourth terms, now are having difficulty with irony. “Syria is nothing like Iraq,” Democrats close to the President are saying. “In the case of Syria, there is a real – although silent – coalition behind us. And our intelligence is absolutely spot on – although we can’t tell you how we know that the rebels are all moderates who love America and deserve our help. Trust us.”